McIntosh Meets Apple
Doctor Thomas has been on holiday this week, which apparently means doing DIY while I continue working, packing your parcels, receiving stock and performing the countless mysterious duties required of an online shopkeeper.
We did sleep in most mornings, so I cannot claim complete martyrdom. There were also walks along the Thames and the odd lunch out. But tomorrow, Doctor Thomas returns to the ward, where the patients are less likely to ask him where the parcel tape has gone.
A New Apple
After saving my pennies for months and months and months and months, I finally bought myself a new iPhone 18 Pro.
I pre-ordered it online and, on Friday, took the bus to Battersea Power Station, home to our nearest Apple Store and enough fashionable shopping to make one feel poor.
I arrived at my allotted time and joined a queue of twenty-somethings vibrating with excitement. I have never witnessed such hysteria over a technological object.
The closest comparison I can offer is a knitting fair, except the excitement at a knitting fair is entirely reasonable because everything is squishable.
Eventually, I reached the front of the queue, where a very young gentleman in a very fashionable Apple outfit asked for my name.
“James McIntosh,” I said. “M-C-I-N-T-O-S-H.”
He looked at me. Then he laughed.
“Don’t be silly,” he said. “That’s not your name.”
I beg your pardon?
“Did your parents name you after a computer?”
I looked at this darling boy, who appeared to have been born sometime after Wi-Fi, and said:
“I think you’ll find that, at my age, I was here long before the computer.”
The cheek of it. Imagine walking into an Apple Store and being accused of copyright infringement simply for introducing yourself.
The Great Upsell
He escorted me inside, presumably to prevent me from attempting to trademark the staircase, and showed me every possible phone.
Then came the questions.
Would I like AppleCare?
Would I like an Apple Watch?
Would I like a new computer?
No, darling. I have just spent quite enough money with you. Please allow my bank account a short period of silent reflection.
The conversation did make me think about customer service, guarantees and how we try to look after you here at McIntosh.
If there is a manufacturing problem with the knitting needles we sell, they are covered by the manufacturer’s guarantee. ChiaoGoo offers a lifetime guarantee, Addi offers ten years, and Addi Express machines are covered for five years. KnitPro and Lantern Moon for 1 year.
We may not offer KnitCare for your circular needles, but we will always do our best to help when something genuinely goes wrong.
Doctor Thomas Joins In
On the bus home, I connected the new phone to Wi-Fi and, as if by sorcery, my old phone moved itself into the new one. Everything was there. I sent the old phone back for a little money in return and must confess that I absolutely love the new one.
Naturally, Doctor Thomas could not allow me to be the only person in the house with a new Apple device.
He bought a second-hand Apple TV, installed it at home and looked tremendously pleased with himself.
Then he turned to me and said:
“James, the Apple TV is installed. But what am I going to do when I retire? I don’t know what to do.”
Honestly, neither do I.
There are only so many Apple TVs a doctor can install in one home. At some point, he may have to begin treating the neighbours’ televisions.
A Little Knittitation
During the week, we also had lunch with a dear friend who is a Catholic priest. He lives in a monastery on the Old Kent Road, which we have visited and found thoroughly extraordinary. It is a very moving religious order. I am not Catholic, although Doctor Thomas is, and we have come to know this priest very well.
We talked about difficult moments in life and what happens when we are struggling.
I came away with this thought: when you are in the middle of a struggle, keep it to yourself for a little while. That is not the moment to write a sermon, pontificate or announce your definitive views to the world. Sometimes you must sit quietly with things before you can see them clearly.
That is where the stitches come in.
We call it Knittitation:
A stitch in time may not change the world, but it can help you see your world a little more clearly.
Right now, I'm going to watch Apple TV - Slow Horses season 6 - YES PLEASE!
James
James McIntosh
The One-Man-Band that is McIntosh and Dr Thomas who has eaten all of the Swiss chocolates we brought home from our visit to LANGYRNS last week
